25 June 2010

Don't Touch

1 Corinthians 7:1-2 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Proverbs 6:29 So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.

1 Corinthians 7:1 is probably one of the most unpopular verses in all the Bible, at least for Christian young people. But as we consider its admonition, we must remember that God’s commandments are not grievous (1 John 5:3) and for our good (Deuteronomy 13:10). The Lord isn’t looking to restrain us and hold us back from anything good, He wants to protect us that which is hurtful and bless us with something better.

What I want to do is give you 2 reasons from these 2 verses of scripture, if you’re a young person in any type of a dating or courtship or “just friends” relationship, why you ought to adopt a hands-off policy.

1. To avoid fornication.

To ensure the continuance of the species, God created the man and the woman with certain natural drives and impulses. There is nothing wrong with how we are created. There is nothing sinful about the inborn desires of the man or the woman. Within the context of the marriage relationship, the exercise of those drives is said to be an honorable thing. But any who take part in physical activity outside the boundaries God has established are promised sure and certain judgment (Hebrews 13:4).

Now, in order to abstain from fornication, according to the will of God (1 Thessalonians 4:7), the Christian is instructed to FLEE fornication (1 Corinthians 6:18). Not to get as close to it as we can but to run as far as we can as fast as we can in the other direction.

What that means is that if we don’t want to get burned (1 Corinthians 7:9), we shouldn’t ignite the fire.

Proverbs 6 says it this way, Proverbs 6:27-29 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.

Young person, if you want to be pure, the surest way to do it is to stay off the road that leads to defilement. Don’t trust your flesh (Philippians 3:3). Don’t give it any opportunities (Romans 14:13). Don’t touch.

2. To avoid presumption.

Whether you actually marry the person you’re in a relationship with or not, it would be wrong to act like you’re married before you actually are, right? But 1 Corinthians 7 and Proverbs 6 also ask you to consider the fact that you might NOT marry that person. In fact, that person may very well be someone else’s (future) spouse.

…let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

…his neighbour’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.

It would be wrong for another man to hold my wife’s hand – because she is MY wife. It would be wrong for another woman to wrap her arms around me – because I’m LAUREN’S husband. You say that’s obvious. And you’re right. But what I want to know is why it’s different before you get married.

What I am saying is that when a young man takes the liberty of giving his girlfriend a good night peck, chances are, he’s kissing somebody else’s wife. And that’s just not right.

The best thing you can do if you’re in a relationship with somebody and you’re trying to figure out if that guy is really someone the Lord would have you to marry or if that girl is really someone you want to spend the rest of your life with (which is the only reason to be in what you might call a serious guy-girl relationship), is to treat that person like someone else’s spouse. To treat that person in such a way that their future spouse (if it’s not you) would thank you for it.


  1. Im a friend of Trevor's (the goofy red headed kid that visited your church this spring). All i want to say is that, after 3 yrs of being caught up in the dating business, i know what you just said is absolutely true! what i wish kids (including myself) in college, high school, and even junior high would realize is that the way they conduct themselves right now, WILL bring consequences to their marriage (good or bad) no matter how far away it seems. Thank you so much for standing on the unpopular truth it has raised my standard of self control to a place that i know will bring me closer to my Savior.

  2. Look, but don't touch. Who is tempting who?

  3. Anonymous >> Not sure exactly what you're saying, but (I think) you raise a good point. This is why MODESTY is so important.